Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
