But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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