He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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