I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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