i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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