shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize