Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
