I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
