im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize