Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
