It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
