Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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