so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
