I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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