This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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