Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think your dad took our porno
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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