Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
