marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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