I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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