Your dad touched me again.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize