Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just blew my weed a kiss
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
