My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Welp...herpes.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
