why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
