I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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