i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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