I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
