woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize