Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
