IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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