Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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