Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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