Actions speak louder than pants.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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