So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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