YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
