you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
