Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
