fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
