I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
