i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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