Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
