That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
