Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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