i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize