Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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