why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
