ugly people sure do ruin things
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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