the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
