He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
