just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
