I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is Oprah even human
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
