that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
