Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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