I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
