oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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