we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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