Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
