I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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