careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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