Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Randomize
