I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
