she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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