I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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